Introducing Celebrity Go!

Introducing Celebrity Go!

Stop, collaborate and listen!



I suppose I’d better start blorging again now that it’s 2017? Ha! I shan’t and you can’t make me wan’t to!

Okay, fair’s fair, I’ll share something with you that I’ve been working on. It’s an idea for a brand-new game. It’s mobile, it’s outdoors, it’s collectible… you may say it’s a bit similar to an existing game out there, but I don’t think they’ll notice.

All I need is some kickstarting to back it. And a programmer. And an artist. And permission to be a cock.

It’s called… Celebrity Go!

You play a major celeb fan, right. Not a stalker. Not weird or anything. Just a mega fan. Your job is to explore the world, the real world via leg walking, while seeking out celebrities! Then you take pictures of them and befriend them! Just like what happens if you follow celebs in real life.

Mel Gibson, licking a ball. Sorry.

The app starts with a little map of your area. It follows you around as you walk, so you need to get a bit of exercise and explore your city. As you search, you will come across celebrities! Obviously, they’re just computer sprites or whatever. Some will be much more common than others. Once you find one, you try to snap him or her, getting lots of point for a candid shot!

For example, Mel Gibson appears on your map. Tap him and it will show him superimposed on your camera feed, as if he’s right there in the gutter with you! Just like a real super fan, you’ve ferreted out that shy celeb. Then you try to befriend him with photos and treats. To make them hang around for longer, you can throw out a little cocaine. They love it!

Theresa May there.

Snap old Mel right and he’ll be yours to buddy up with, befriend and even train. I’m not sure what the training involves yet… it’s sexual though, definitely. And maybe you can… take them to the gym? And make them fight each other? I think that’ll be okay.

Don’t worry if you’re low on camera film, visit a Celebrity Stop! These local landmarks are packed with more film, more coke and incubators for you to store celeb sperm and eggs so you can make more!

I’m no photoshop expert, this is just proof of concept, yaknow.

So, what celebs can you capture? What do they do? I reckoned they would need to be sorted into common and rare types, you know, like E list, D list, up to A list. Some are bound to be very common and a bit annoying. I’m thinking the most common would be, like, the Chuckle Brothers, maybe the bloke off of Homes under the Hammer and I guess Rylan Clarke. Tons of those fuckers around.

Getting a bit more rare and powerful, we have Sinead O’Connor and Kriss Akabusi. If you’re really lucky you might grab the legendries, like Brad Pitt and Scarlett Johannson! But there’s more to it, see. Some of them can evolve, so they start out wank, but change their form to become just sort of pants! So if you get Joe McElderry, he evolves into John Barrowman, who in turn evolves into Michael Bublé! Cool or what? Cher Lloyd evolves into Cheryl Cole. The Merlin lad off of Merlin starts off quite shit but if you bear with him and give him plenty of cocaine, he becomes Liam Neeson! Oh yeah, Bruce Jenner evolves into Caitlyn Jenner.

The unevolved, pre-Humans version of whatshisteeth.

There’s all different types, too. There’s Grass type celebrities like Snoop Dogg, there’s Water type like Tom Daly (he evolves into Michael Phelps) and Poison types like Katie Hopkins and Jeremy Kyle! I reckon there could be some Ghost types, too, like Carrie Fisher. They would be really common right now.

What do you think? Will it work? Who’s gonna back me?


by Bret

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