by Bret

Our Daily Beard – 09/02/13

Good evening fellow mammals.

It’s time for a glimpse into my day to day life, peeling back the layers of mystery and gazing on the wonder that is my world.

I know, I know- some of you aren’t ready. Some of you would prefer to preserve the legend, rather than see that I’m actually just a mortal man.

But I’ve got nothing else to talk about today.

So, here’s one of the things I do to amuse myself (Becki has to take some blame) and how you can recreate the hours of fun:

1. Watch Game of Thrones.
2. Be making a stir-fry of some kind. Go on, I’ll wait for you to catch up.
3. Get to the stage where you add mushrooms (or chilli or whatever).
4. Use a chopping board with a hole in it (where you grip it).
5. Shovel the mushrooms through the little hole, to meet their demise in the pan.
6. While doing so, cry ‘Open the Moon Door!’ and ‘Make the bad man fly!’
7. Giggle.

 

 

See? I’m just as useless at home.

 
[sociable]

Our Daily Beard – 08/02/13

Calling all app developers!

One good idea came to me today and I need you to make it for me!

-The Palantyr App-

Build a video chat app akin to Skype or Facetime. Or borrow one, or whatever.

Apply a fisheye lens affect to the display.

Put a fiery animation on the borders and faint elven script.

Apply a slight warp to the sound to make it all ‘doomy’.

Possibly make a script that will occasionally interrupt your video chat with the Eye of Sauron and snatches of his voice.

That is all. Palantyr App. Why are you still reading? Make it, call me, 50/50 split.

 

[sociable]

The Saga of Sweetangel – Part 1

Hi chaps and chapettes;

I haven’t got anything pointful to say today, so instead of Our Daily Beard, you’re getting part one of a rather long poem story thing.

Hope you like it- more parts to follow, on other days when I have nothing to say!

 

The Saga of Sweetangel

 

In the city of Saltpetre,

Between the Last Sea and the First Mountain,

Lived the strongest and strangest of folk.

They were known simply as Dirtlings,

The outcasts and flotsam of the wide world,

With no nation or flag to invoke.

 

There were Karkars, and Findlishmen,

Some Hashmiri atop ellingfant steeds,

And shaman from lost Ubu Ubu.

There were tree-saints and sand-sailors,

Electrum engineers and noblemen,

Yet Saltpetre’s finest were these two:

 

Findlishmen Longthorn and Poulter,

Of the firm Longthorn, Poulter and Elsewise,

Solved crimes and found lost things for payment.

Elsewise was a silent partner,

Longthorn was a Pope’s Navy deserter,

And Poulter, a crow in man’s raiment.
[sociable]