Hairy Birthday To Me

Hairy Birthday To Me

Afternoon everyone. Yes, it’s my birthday!


If you can stop rejoicing long enough, I would bend your ears.

Now, you’re probably beside yourself with worry, trying to work out what to get for the man who has everything.

Here’s my wish list:

1. My ebook, the Firebird, is free today and the 9th. If you haven’t already, grab a free download for Kindle (or you can get their free PC e-reader), at It’s written in the style of a fable and follows a young lady on a symbolic journey of discovery in a fantastic forest. Some eyes come out, there’s a stabbing, a typical Saturday night.

2. Maybe you already have the Firebird? No sense in downloading it again, but you might consider leaving an Amazon review. Just go to the product page, whack some stars down and a sentence. I have ten 5-star reviews so far, which has chuffed me immensely!

3. Done those? Don’t have a Kindle? Can’t read? Then sponsor my beard. I’m raising money for the Sumatran Orangutan this Ape-ril, because they’re on the critically endangered list and that sucks big orange balls. Show beardy solidarity and either donate a quid towards my beard here, or simply share the link to your mates!

Thanks, fellow primates!

Oh, my beard progress. Slow growing, I’m sorry to report. Must be an age thing…


by Bret

You can reach me via the About page and the social links at the top, or subscribe at the bottom.