Our Daily Beard – 19/02/13

Salebriations mortals!

Well, what happened today?

My inbox tells me that some kind of game called ‘Halo 4’ has been updated with new content.

In my day, the only halos we had were behind the heads of religious luminaries, and they certainly didn’t have four of them, no sir!

Oh, that’s torn it. I’m going to have to ‘do’ this post as a crazy old timer.


The Halo 4 Majestic Map Pack (majestic? Ha! Only HRH is majestic in my book) is due on the 25th Feb.

It contains some things:

Three new battlegrounds for tight close quarter combat! (Reminds me of my all-boys school).

Two new playlists (I do love a good list).

A new free-for-all game type, “Infinity Rumble” (Numbers didn’t go up to infinity in my day!)


Right, these map things.

First one is called ‘Landfall’. I think that’s similar to landfill. This map will be about infantry battles, ‘admist’ a glittering ocean and a city under siege. Where exactly? On a distant world, apparently. That’s okay then. It says ‘The world of Tribute is now a graveyard, but its capital was once a bright beacon of commerce among the inner colonies.’ Well, colonies, now you’re talking. The empire was great once! God Save the Queen! They don’t like it up them.


The next is called Monolith. It features an open battlefield and a ‘Forerunner’ monument that exposes you to the vacuum of space. Well, someone has to do the housework, even in space. It says ‘This small map has central man-cannons, short corridors, almost no cover, and open sightlines which make the location great for a mixture of close and mid-range battle’. Well, I don’t know what a man-cannon is, but I don’t approve. You’ll go blind you know!


Then there’s ‘Skyline’ which is in the air on a construction site. I don’t know about that, doesn’t sound very safe. Wear a hard hat, chaps. Hang on, this says… ‘This map, perched high above the sights of reconstruction in Cascade’s capital city, is small and symmetrical, perfect for Regicide with a mixture of high and low spaces and plenty of cover.’ Well hold on a minute! Regicide?! I won’t stand for it! The dastards are after Her Majesty! Hold on, Lizzie, I’m coming!


Ahem, yes, false alarm, sorry chaps. You can have a sneak preview on Halo Waypoint, but honestly, why don’t you kids have any patience these days?

This map pack costs 800 Microsoft Points. I think that means you have to get it online. I don’t trust computers. What’s wrong with using the post office?


by Bret

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